images: Harper’s Bazaar

“Men in SPANX –  or A Decline in Masculinity?”

 

SPANX, a company founded to serve as a temporary tummy tuck, reports that one of their top selling products this past year was SPANX for men. Unless you’ve been buying them for your husband or boyfriend, you may have totally missed this hot-selling item this past year, which for sure is a sign of things to come.

It’s not uncommon for men to want a little pampering and even nip and tuck nowadays, but now studies show (as seen in Times magazine) men are thinking more like women and vice versa: “Survey Shows Men Need to Cuddle, Woman Value Sex.” Men are becoming more relational and emotional; a far cry from the stereotype that often bursted my childhood Cinderella dreams.

In today’s Huffington Post: Culture News, Dr.Peggy Drexler asks, “Are Men What They Used to Be?

Drexler goes on to probe:

“As I read about how men are thinking more like women, and women are filling the space vacated by declining masculinity, I have to wonder: Is it a shift in gender roles, or an easing of expectations?”

Is our culture becoming more tolerable of the feminine man?  Or have women pushed men to become more womanly? To make sure we’re crystal clear: I’m not referring to the male who considers himself attracted to the same sex in any shape or form. I’m talking about the straight, red-blooded, non-stop-eye-wandering  American male, who is now, according to Drexler, “free to hug more, …help with homework, … and listen more.” How could this be a bad thing? [click to continue…]

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Comments

by Kristin

So someone just  kindly brought it to my attention that my comments were down. I was wondering why I wasn’t getting any feedback. Then again, it would surprise me if my post are holding your attention all the way down to the comments. But for the readers out there, comments are now enabled.

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1. Though I live in Florida and am surrounded by so-called “beautiful beaches”, I’d rather be spending my summer at this lovely island.

 

image: Garance Dore’

2. Finding myself  truly missing  visiting  this goldmine on Lafayette,  for (hands down) the best ice coffee in NYC. But it’s probably better for me now that I’m addicted to another refreshing beverage, along side a few lime wedges. [click to continue…]

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Take Me Higher

by Kristin

Films have a way of eliciting questions and revealing doubts buried beneath the surface; things we wouldn’t typically vocalize amidst our daily dialogs of sports, celebrities and the weather. What we fear to speak aloud, topics that are quickly dodged in conversation, seem to be eagerly recieved on the big screen.  The Sundance Film festivals are often a forecast of, not only themes in the film industry, but topics that strike a chord with the current concerns of our culture. This year there seems to be a common theme that take a deeper look into faith, religion, and moreso our desire for purpose in this life. While these films don’t ultimately answer the question at hand, the directors clearly strive to address it.

A directorial debut for Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air, Departed,) “High Ground” is based on Carolyn S. Briggs’ memoir “This Dark World: A Memoir of Salvation Found and Lost.”  The film is a story of woman’s search for faith and meaning as her family submerges into a fundamentalist Christian community. Spanning over 20 years, from accepting Jesus into her life as a young girl and over to the complexities of  adulthood, “Higher Ground” exposes the doubts of evangelical faith. Though I’ve yet to see this film, I get the sense that Corrine’s struggle as a “believer” begins as the expected Sunday warm-fuzzies dwindle down when the struggles and hard times rise.

Words from the director, Vera Farmiga: [click to continue…]

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“What if what I think is great, really is great, but not as great as something greater.” (Matthew M. – The Wedding Planner)

Above is a favorite quote of mine. Sometimes what we think is “great” isn’t always the best, and certainly not always “greater” (excuse my english) for us.

In America we like to have the greatest of everything. Our culture works hard to have access to the best of everything.  And when we discover what we have isn’t always the greatest, we feel jipped. Ok, at least I do. More often than not, concerning our food, we over-compensate out of this need to make everything better and bigger. That was just to preface these “Great, But Not as Great as…” posts, where I want to share with you somethings that are “great, but not as great as something… greater.”

This summer I was asked to teach on healthy eating and cooking. During one class where we talked about snack food options, I encountered a bit of a disagreement over Dannon yogurts with some women who believe it to be very good for you. Good?  Maybe. Let’s start there: What you think is good, may not be so good.

Good:

Dannon Light & Fit

Good – ehh? Yes, it’s full of probiotics (fermented foods with active cultures.) But when it’s also filled with sucralose (fake sugar,) fructose (sugar,) added gelatin (to keep it jello- like,) and three different dyes for color, my guess is it isn’t really “good” per se.

Great: [click to continue…]

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Sometimes people have a hard time believing I used to “struggle” with my weight. But, believe me, when I was in high school, working at Starbucks and indulging in daily caramel mochas and blueberry scones, I struggled. I was a good 4-6 sizes bigger than I am now. You know how it is: hormones, emotions, highschool drama, chocolate, more drama, more chocolate. Honestly it was a struggle all through college too. Highschool was more like the kick-off as far as my “struggles” were concerned. And now that I’ve come to find balance and discipline, I thoroughly thank God that I’ve learned to live this way. Because now I love it. Few people can relate to this “struggle” and pure joy of deciding to live with healthy habits like my sister could. That would be Kara Joy.

Kara Before

About two years ago, my sister Kara, decided to start to eating  healthier and learn some yoga. She asked if I’d mind if she’d shadow me for a while and  follow the way I ate. So for a week or so she began taking note of what and how I ate. In turn, she started completely changed her habits, eating more vegetables and fruits, cutting out processed foods, red meats, ate more fish and whole grains, started doing yoga a few times a week and voila…

 Kara went down several dress sizes and essentially is a new woman. It’s been for about two years that Kara has maintained her healthy habits. Of course becoming an elementary school teacher has kept her running around all year long. Kara has stayed on top of her game, especially considering her stressful job with the high expectations on her (and students and parents calling her off the clock) and has really jumped into adulthood with more energy due to her new lifestyle.

While it hasn’t been a piece of cake, maintaing these habits while teaching full-time, working part-time with a youth group , leading worship two times a week, Kara has remained disciplined and made it happen. And just look at her! She’s thinner than she’s ever been. 
 

Kara Now

 Though chasing kids around all day and night helps keep Kara stay active, she loves doing yoga a few times a week with Tara Stile’s dvds, walks and runs the lake, and spends most weekends at the beach learning to surf with her boyfriend Rick (the expert surfer.)

As far as her diet goes, Kara has continued to keep the habits she established early on, avoiding red meats, dairy, and processed foods (chips, pretzels, cookies) out of her diet.On a given day breakfast consists of oatmeal or toast and eggs, lots of salads, roasted veggies, fish, and sushi for lunch and dinner. Her favorite treats are specialty cheeses from Whole Foods and dark chocolate. And Kara can typically be found drinking plenty of water along a daily espresso over ice, during the hot months in Florida (9 months of the year!) Sound familiar? What can I say. “Sisters, sisters…”

 

 
 
 
 
 

Did I mention her middle name is Joy?

 

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Dating: Do you have Game?

 

A few months ago I came across this Marie Claire article, “Girls with No Game: Are you a Dating Virgin?” It was as if the author reached out from the pages and slapped me across the face. The subtitle: A new generation of women never learned how to date: Are you one of them? The title seemed somewhat abrupt, a tad accusatory. Since I can’t stand when an individual is too easily offended by the cover of a book they’ve never opened, I read the demeaning article. (Though I think my hand remained over the title of the page as I read it, out of embarrassment that someone might see what I was reading and assume I was indeed a girl without game.)

Turns out the author, Jennifer Miller, is speaking from the vantage point of a single woman, foreign to the world of dating. Blatantly, this accomplished author and a grad student at that, calls herself “clueless: a girl without game.” To lightly sum up the article, Miller questions:

In each case, [cohabiting couples, divorcees, singles] when the relationships end, floods of young women are unleashed upon the dating scene without a clue about what to do there. And the pressure is on to find Mr. Right. These single gals worry about their biological clocks and whether or not all the good men have been taken. So should we all just have heeded Mom, and put off sharing a toothbrush jar until the save-the-dates went out?

Ok, here is where I’m confused. Is dating all about finding Mr. Right or learning to play this “game?” If we are looking for Mr. Right, my biological clock cannot be the pressing matter at hand, or whether or not all the good men have been taken, as if I should feel rushed to settle with a “nice” guy. As the saying goes, “you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince,” is Miller suggesting you have to date a lot of duds to find Mr. Right?

Eli Finkel, Ph.D., associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University says, “Dating is a skill. The more you do it, the better you get.” 

While I understand that the social graces of dating are crucial, and would dare say that the state of our culture’s dating scene is in fact an inhibiting factor for why many women today lack the ettiquette that was once expected of them, how graceful can one be weeding out Mr. Right at overcrowded and intoxicated club scenes? It’s hardly a setting that evokes romantic interest for myself. When the point of these dating relationships is to find the “one”  (or if you don’t believe in fate, one that your chemistry and values in life matches with; since that topic itself is an entirely different can of worms) why should we feel the need to become experts of the dating scene?

My answer to Miller, yes I would “put off sharing toothbrush jars until the save-the-dates went out.” Actually it will be put off until commencement. Whether or not this record breaking percentage of single women, past the age of 26, have game or not in the dating scene, is the least of my concerns. As a 27 year old single woman, I’m slightly more concerned with whether or not I’m “clueless” in regards to the current direction of my life, career, and values rather than a tireless dating game that feels more like “The song that doesn’t end.”

 Read more: Dating and Playing Hard to Get – Girls Who don’t know How to Date – Marie Claire

 

 

 

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Not all thin, healthy people are born that way. Some of us have gone through our own fair share of trail and errors, binges, poor habits…. call them what you will. But after reaching a point where you’re actually eating and living like you know you should be, it’s good to reminisce about times when you were completely clueless and see just how you’ve progressed. One habit that I’ve come to instill in myself, so much so that I’m now unaware of until I’m eating with a new group of people, is how slow I eat. The benefits are obvious: you can enjoy what your eating, you’re less likely to stuff yourself and it’s easier for your body to break down the food. Now there was a time where I was completely unaware of this need to slow down.

 I’ve been wrongly perceived as one who has always been thin and disciplined. This couldn’t be more inaccurate. Disciplined in some areas? Maybe, yes. Thin and self-controlled? Not always. Growing up with a sister 2 years younger than me, there was always a fight over who got the better deal: Who got the bigger bowl of cereal, the front seat or who ended up with the pretty Barbie Happy Meal toy. No matter what it was, someone always got the better deal. In a way, it was a means of endless drama and competition between us as sisters. While I like to think my sister, the one who loved randomly pulling my hair, was the one looking for drama, I must admit we shared an equal urge to one up the other. In more cases than not, it involved food. Hence, where the lack of self-control comes in.

 Though we ate at home most nights, every week or so we’d eat at Pizza Hut. Dad was equally motivated to bring us for the new (at the time) stuffed-crust pizza as he was for the “Book It Program;” Pizza that encourages kids to read. This genius concept, bribing kids with food to learn more, was at the brink of a food culture that has truly shaped my generation, in more ways than one. ( No pun intended.)  Before our pizza would arrive,  we would sometimes start with the cheese breadsticks . Being the competitive sisters we were, who got the most cheese breadsticks was of course the objective of the night. As delicious as a stick of cheese was to us at the time, we were more occupied with how many sticks remained.

One particular night, we were down to three cheese sticks and my parents were done. I grabbed one, Kara grabbed the other and we ferociously chowed down. Still eyeing the one remaining, I continued cramming the stick down so quickly that pretty soon I bit off more than I could swallow. I was too busy watching my sister, Kara,  who was halfway done with her’s and just about ready to grab the last stick.

Determined to get it down, sudden I began uncontrollably gagging on globs of cheese. (Apparently this was no unusual scenario for me as a kid. My parents said starting at a young age I would eat any form of cheese and inevitably consume it like candy. They would have to keep an eye on me so I wouldn’t choke myself to death.) At the point where I began gagging all I recall was jumping out of the booth and seeing my Dad’s out-of-control reaction, motioning for me to cough it up. I don’t remember much after this but I’m told he then grabbed me by the heels, turned me upside, attempting to shake it out of me, until it came up. I returned for a few moments to catch my breath, sat down and there it was. The cheesey breadstick was there waiting for me. Though this story doesn’t fully drive my point home, I think you catch my drift. Chew your food. Enjoy your meal. And if you have kids, for goodness sake don’t let them make a contest out of who gets the last of the breadsticks.

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Every now and then I come across an individual who’s commendable health transformation and change of habits reminds me how much we can change when we put our mind to it. So many people always wonder how to get rid of their extra weight and somehow avoid the inevitable: discipline and consistency. But there is no way around it. You must have these two components if you want to change. One man who gets that is Alton Brown.

So I know I’m really behind the times on this individual’s transformation, at least in the foodie world, but recently I came across a “Good Eats” episode that is all about Alton Brown’s diet philosophy. “Good Eats”, Alton Brown and science have typically never been topics of interest to me until I watched his practical and convincing plan of action. Though some have been concerned that Alton Brown’s weight loss has led him to appear sickly thin, it’s not uncommon for older thinner people to be labeled as looking “sickly ” when the antagonist wouldn’t mind loosing some weight themselves. After watching his episode Live & Let Die, I find this food star far from being “sickly.”

Come to find out the foodie, science-expert chef has truly got his act together when it comes his diet. In this episode of Good Eats, Alton Brown explains his principles for loosing and maintaining his whopping 50 lbs of fat. Though most infomercials and books try to sell us on the miraculous formula or menu-concoctions they are offering, Brown remains forthright, utilitarian and efficient on the matter. As you can see his diet listed below, he obviously advocates a  Mediterranean diet, full of whole grains, vegetables, fruits, nuts and fish. I think Brown’s approach to the matter is so applicable to our culture ( and considering his cooking-skill, being one that doesn’t over-complicate food or the preparation that is necessary to go into a good meal,) he would be the ideal candidate for a book on this matter. The episode is full of some interesting recipes that I look forward to trying.

While some of you may gag at the thought of it, Alton Brown eats about a can of sardines a day. Though I prefer fresh fish, and would love to try fresh sardines, I’m also a fan of anything smoked. So I may be trying his Sardine-Avacado Sandwhich  somewhere in the near future. Just wanted to show you that, even with Food Science expert Alton Brown, losing weight isn’t rocket science .                                               

If you wish to skip his uncanny explanation of his transformation (though I don’t know why you would,) for the short of it here are Alton Brown’s food rules:

Daily
- Fruits
- Whole Grains
- Leafy Greens
- Nuts
- Carrots
- Green Tea

3 times a week
- Oily Fish
- Yogurt
- Broccoli
- Sweet Potato
- Avocado

Once a week
- Red meat
- Pasta
- Dessert
- Alcohol

NEVER!
- Fast Food
- Soda
- Processed meals/frozen dinners
- Canned soup
- “Diet” anything

I must say, I’m impressed. I couldn’t be more of an advocate of this type of lifestyle.

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Since working at Starbucks when I was just 16, I’ve been a coffee addict. My parent’s always drank coffee and growing up in the land of Dunkin Donut’s in the Boston-area,  Dunkin’s French Vanilla iced “coffee” somewhat prepped me for working at Stuarbucks and what soon became a daily espresso and french-press coffee affair. But in light of the 2 sometimes 3 or 4 cups of quad lattes or  affogato mocha frappacinos with extra caramel drizzle, I’ve grown up a bit. My coffee addiction has settled into a reasonable consumption of 1 cup a day, maybe 3 shots.

 At times, to ween myself off of this daily addiction, I’ve had weeks where I’ll just drink green tea. So when I reintroduce coffee, it doesn’t feel so much a “do or die” scenario when I can’t get my french press first thing in the morning. Infact, as of late I’d much prefer green tea, since it’s a bit more rejuvenating compared to shocking my system with a rather acidic and strong brew of coffee first thing in the morning.

But I am in Florida and in the dead heat of the summer (at least here at 98 degrees already) a hot beverage won’t always cut it. So opting for a cold beverage, I’ve finally given into to trying the “green monster” smoothies (that I said I would never substitute for a meal) and explored the whole juicing  craze. Green smoothie attempt 1 included: Kale, spinach, pear, mango, almond milk, agave and lime juice. This frothy green beverage was surprisingly satisfying in place of breakfast. I even managed to pour a glass for my dad who willing drank the whole glass and said “Hmmm good. Tastes healthy, but good.” My mom and I were shocked he put down a beverage that contained vegetables and being that he is color blind, had no clue it was bright green. And I swore to her [my mom] that I wouldn’t tell him there were vegetables in so she could attempt it again.

My sister has become quite the expert on juicing, trying options like Kale and Apple juice, Carrot and Pear and (her favorite, my absolutely least favorite) Carrot, Beet and Apple juice, which taste like pure dirt.  As someone who thoroughly enjoys real food, though others beg to differ, I was surprised at how satisfying these frothy green concoctions can be.

Dr. Oz, who has a balanced view on juicing – not encouraging juice fasts, but rather as an occasional meal substitution, has a great recipe for anti-aging monster juice. Even Guy Fieri  the ultimate “Guy Food Cook” – at least by my Dad’s standards) starts his day out with fresh green juices:

What’s your morning food ritual?

GF: An Americano and a banana, if I’m home. If I’m on the road for Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, I have a new, amazing habit. I bought a juicer. One of my assistant’s job is to buy organic vegetables every day, so that when I show up to set, I have a 16-ounce glass of delicious, healthy, freshly-made juice, usually with beets, carrots, strawberries, blueberries, celery, parsley, you name it.

He’s such an advocate he even dedicated a page in his new book, Guy Fieri Food, all on juicing.

 

Chances are we aren’t all getting in enough greens and rely too heavily upon coffee and sugar ( and sweet tea if you’re from the south) to keep us going. But do we ever feel revitalized by these harmless stimulants? All in all the more greens you can get in the better. Maybe I can even sell my Dad on juicing when he hear the Guy Fieri juices. Unless of course he reads this first and discovers he’s been hoaxed into drinking something good for him.

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